So this virtual schooling has surprised me. In the spring, and in summer (yes, I made my kids do summer school!) there was more independent work. Teachers posted video lessons, and then there were assignments to complete. I was guiding my kids through their list of tasks each day. They had projects, worksheets I printed to complete, practice using apps and websites, youtube videos, online stories, indendent reading. And when the kids had trouble paying attention to a 15-20 minute video lesson, I taught them myself. The kids didn’t want to learn from me though, and some days were downright ugly. I knew it wasn’t working, but everyone was just suddenly thrust into it with no preparation. The circumstances sucked, and I hate to say it, but the outcome sucked too.
Now, they are on Google Meets for almost the entire time. 8:30am until 1pm. There are some breaks built in, thank goodness, but otherwise the kids are expected to sit at a desk or table in front of their Chromebook. They listen to their teacher present for most of that time, and they also have one or two specials each day. We have gone to the polar opposite of spring virtual learning it feels like. After spring, many parents were asking for more live instruction. Now, we have ALL live instruction. It’s too much. There’s no balance. There’s definitely pieces missing. It’s not what I was expecting.
I will give you some (ok just one) positives though because I really feel like a Debby Downer lately. So for me, I am able to get more done around the house. Whereas before, I was actively engaged in moving my children from activity to activity throughout the school morning, now they are pretty independent at navigating themselves between their classes and taking their breaktimes. Which has left me more time to be able to fold laundry and (gasp) actually put it away, to vacuum (ok start the iRobot) and mop the kitchen floor and also just walk around with my coffee mug and supervise.
I’ve been moved to a more managerial position, which is kinda nice. However – and here’s where I get negative again – with elementary-aged children, being a manager involves encouraging them to keep going when they are just DONE being on the computer, giving them hugs when they feel too sad to continue, making them go back to their computer when they just walk off because their brains hurt, and smiling back at them when they look at me with sad puppy dog faces.
Each of my tasks breaks my heart a little bit more. I feel like I have to work overtime after school is over to build them back up again. To take away their sadness and depression, and replace it with smiles and happiness.
And then the next morning comes, and poor little Deacon asks, “We have to do those meetings again?” “Yes, honey, that’s school now.” And then I die a little inside when his face crumbles and his eyes fill with tears.