Another hurdle we made it over!

I got the results for my glucose test.  I was so nervous to find out about this because Brian’s been on my case about my sugar intake.  I can’t help it – I love my Dunkin Donuts, my gummi bears and my desserts!  So I was completely relieved when the nurse said my level was 111, well within normal range.  She said it should be between 65 and 139 so we’re doing good!  It turns out being pregnant with multiples makes me more susceptible to getting gestational diabetes though, so I will have to test again a little further on in pregnancy.  When she said that, I asked her if I would be ok if I just kept eating what I’m eating, and she said absolutely…thank goodness!  It seemed like basically, if I was going to get it, I’d get it.  So unless I make a drastic change to my diet and live solely on donuts and candy, there’s nothing I can do to make myself diabetic.  What a relief!  Especially since Brian promised me that if I passed, he’d stay off my back about my diet 🙂

In the Beginning Part II: There’s HOW many babies in there???

Warning:  some of this post may contain sensitive material!

The day of our ultrasound arrived, and our babysitter, my father-in-law, had his own appointment, so we brought our son with us.  My mother-in-law followed us there so she could watch him while we were in, and then she was going to go to work after.  Finally they called us in and we had a long wait in the room.  While we waited, my husband asked the nurse what she thought of our beta numbers with regards to multiples and her reply was that they were “borderline.”  So that kind of deflated my balloon a little bit, but I was still excited to find out!  Once the doctor finished up with his emergency, he came in for our scan.  It was vaginal, so as soon as he inserted the wand and a picture came up, he said “oh.”  And then “wow.”  I’m like “ wow what???” thinking the worst.  When he said “there’s four” all I could say was “you’re kidding.”  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both.  I just kept saying “holy sh*t” over and over.  My husband said he immediately saw three, and was shocked when the doctor found four.  We couldn’t believe it.  My mind was a haze and I didn’t know what to think or say.  I immediately brought up reduction and the doctor said that’s a possibility, but we would talk in our consultation after.  He proceeded to show us each baby, A, B, C, D, they call them, and we got to see each flickering heartbeat and hear them loud and clear.  I couldn’t be happy like I was with my son.  I was too much in shock.

We finished up the ultrasound and moved to the doctor’s office.  He said he had never before seen or heard of quads as a result of Clomid and IUI.  He was actually excited to get on the internet and research papers about this!  I felt a little special and a little like a freak!  The doctor was reluctant to give us any information about reduction or proceeding with four, since that’s not his area of specialty, but he did recommend where to go for reduction, and told us we’d have to start seeing a high risk OB.  We would have another ultrasound 9 days later, and then would graduate to the OB. 

In the meantime, word was spreading around the office, and everyone knew about the quads by the time we came out to schedule our next appointment.  As we said goodbye and walked out the door to tell my MIL, all of the ladies were crowding in the window to watch her reaction.  My husband just held up four fingers and she just had a look of shock on her face, which probably mirrored our faces!  She immediately got on the phone with her husband, who was just as shocked as the rest of us.  I checked my phone and had a text from my mom and my best friend asking how our scan went.  My reply was just “four”.  My mom immediately called me and I talked to her for a minute.  By that point, we all realized there were other people in the waiting room, and it’s probably rude to be talking about our quad pregnancy in front of others who are having trouble conceiving, so we packed up and left.  My MIL decided there was no way she could go to work so we all headed home (we live next door to eachother) and met my FIL there.  We just sat and talked about the shock of it, until we said let’s just go out to lunch.  So we headed to Olive Garden, where we talked more about how shocked we all were.

The next few weeks were a blur of negativity for me.  I cried often, and cursed my luck for being in this position.  I truly felt that it was a terrible situation, with no positive outcomes.  On one hand, we could choose to reduce to two and forever live with that guilt.  On the other hand, we could choose to do nothing, and just proceed with four babies and hope for the best.  Neither sounded good to me.  All I wanted was to go back in time, and never try to have a second baby in the first place.  Why couldn’t we just have been happy with one??

To choose to reduce would mean choosing two babies to kill.  Harsh words, but that’s what would be happening.  A friend told me I can’t think of them as babies at this point.  She said to consider them embryos, “its”.  Easier said than done. I had had a miscarriage previously.  We ended up pregnant very early in our relationship, and
it was a rough situation.  I had wanted kids for years, and he was not even close to considering it.  Eventually after weeks of emotional turmoil, I lost the baby. It was a horrible experience that I would never wish on anyone.  To this day, I still have my ultrasound report confirming pregnancy, and I still cry about that loss sometimes. 
Every year, around the time that baby was due, I think about how old he or she would be now.  In my head it would have been a girl.  I know that feeling of loss, and I didn’t know if I could live with being the one to make the choice.  I actually hoped that nature would take the decision out of my hands.  It seems a terrible thing to say, but like I said, I was in a bad place and just wanted to be out of that situation.

Gradually the sting of shock dulled, and we were left with the daunting question:  “What do we do now?” 

To be continued – and I promise the next part will be much more upbeat!!

More Organization: Insurance Binder

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I’m so proud! Check something else off the list! I had a file folder of EOBs, doctor bills and receipts that was just overflowing. It was driving me crazy! I had no idea what we really owed, and it took me forever to find the claims I needed for our insurance dispute. I searched around on the Internet for a system, but found nothing I really liked.
I finally came up with this idea, and the motivation to put it into place. I got a huge 3″ binder and a pack of 8 dividers that were wide. I also picked up a set of 8 dividers that were a little narrower than those. Each member of the family gets one section, which I neatly labeled with my handy dandy labeler (best birthday present ever!) In each section I used two more dividers for Unresolved Claims and Resolved Claims. I hole-punched the whole stack of papers and sorted them out into the proper sections. Multiple papers for the same claim/issue were paper clipped or binder clipped together so I could keep them together. It’s all in chronological order, which makes me happy 🙂
I feel so good and relieved getting that done! I know I’ll have tons more papers throughout this pregnancy, and the quads will when they arrive. Now that I have a system in place, I can just sort and file, and hopefully keep some sanity (as long as I don’t look at the amount of the hospital bills!)

Wednesday Doctor Update 20 Weeks

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We had our big anatomy scan today. They said to prepare for an hour for each baby, but luckily it only took 2 1/2 hours. That was still enough to aggravate my sciatica though! I couldn’t even stand on my left leg afterward.
It was all worth it though; we got to see all the babies and they are doing great!! Good heartbeats and all their parts are there and the proper size. Can’t ask for more than that!
The boys were super active, and stubborn Girl Baby B wouldn’t show her feet. At one point we saw C’s and D’s heads together and C’s mouth was moving; it looked like she was talking to him! D was getting beat up by his siblings when she was trying to measure him.
On another positive note, my cervix is still holding strong so these babies are happy to stay in there longer, thank goodness! Pictured are all four babies, labeled ABCD. Sorry for the rough quality; my scanner wasn’t cooperating.
Next up is my diabetes test. They want to do it sooner because there is no later, as they put it. Then in two weeks we head back for a follow-up scan to check for the parts they couldn’t see today, and another cervix check.
I’m also happy that it looks like we will get home monitoring in about a month. I’ll have a machine I’ll use twice a day to check for contractions and I send the data to a nurse to monitor. Makes me feel better that I’d be monitored between doctor visits.
All in all, another great doctor appointment, and I’m so relieved!

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In the Beginning: Trying for #2

I wanted to post our back story, starting at the beginning of our journey…but it’s long, so I’ll post it in pieces.  So hopefully I’ll manage to post a part each week. 

After we had our son in 2011, we weren’t totally sure if we wanted to have more or not.  We went back and forth to the extremes, from my husband telling me he wants 3 more, to “we are never doing that again!”  We had conceived our son using Clomid and IUI, and neither of us wanted to do that again.  Once we got past the first hard few months of colicky crying, and the adjustments that come along with having a baby, we had this wonderful baby, who slept like a champ – through the night from like the second month! – ate well, was healthy and happy.  Since he was so easy, we decided we wanted more!  But we were going to leave it up to nature.  If we could conceive on our own, great, but if we couldn’t, we were going to be a happy family of three.  I didn’t get my cycle back until I stopped breastfeeding when he was one year old, so we began trying after that.  After a couple months of not getting pregnant, we changed our minds and figured, well Clomid and IUI worked last time, why beat around the bush?  Let’s just go back to our doctor and speed the process along.  We weren’t getting any younger!!

          So we went back to our infertility group and saw another doctor in the practice, who put us on the fast track.  We did all the required-by-law testing, but were able to forgo the extra doctor consultations, since we’d been there-done that.  As I was anxiously waiting to ovulate, peeing in a cup for the ovulation test kit every day, I got an ear infection.  So I was put on antibiotics and this, or being sick, delayed ovulation and I didn’t O until day 22 of my cycle.  Usually it would have been day 16/17.  In any case, we finally did the insemination the next day.  I wasn’t optimistic, though my husband’s count was great.  With O being so delayed, I just thought that would mess it up for some reason.  Plus, it took us two tries the first time, so maybe I was trying to protect myself and not get my hopes up too high.

          Then on to more waiting – the waiting to test!  During the week following the IUI, I tried not to analyze every little twinge and “symptom” because I know they really don’t mean anything!  But of course I do.  Luckily I really didn’t have much going on, so there wasn’t too much to obsess over.  Until a week after the procedure.  That day I was so DUMB.  I couldn’t think things through properly, I couldn’t speak right and I just felt so stupid!  I said to my husband, “I MUST be pregnant.”  I planned to take a test the next morning.  Well, my son woke up crying at like 4am, so while my husband changed him, I went to pee on a stick.  I left it sitting there and sat down to give my son a cup of milk to help him back to sleep.  I asked my husband to go check the stick after a couple minutes and he came back and said it was negative.  I’m like “really? Are you sure? There’s no line at all?”  And he goes, “yeah there’s a line but it’s really faint.”  I’m like “a line means positive!!!”  “oh” is his response.  Well duh man we’re pregnant!  But the line was so faint it made me a little nervous.  So he went off to work at 530am, and when my son woke up we drove to the pharmacy to pick up a FRER.  I immediately went home to test and that line came up so fast and so dark!  We were for sure pregnant!  I was so surprised to find out 8 days past IUI.  That’s early!  We didn’t find out until 14 days after with my son. 

I called my RE and scheduled a blood test to confirm for 2 days later.  My beta came back at 307 on 10dpiui, which seemed high!  My first beta with my son was 29.7, so this was astronomical for me.  The nurse on the phone made a reference to multiples, but we couldn’t confirm that until an ultrasound.  The next beta two days later was 743.  It more than doubled, which was a great indication of a healthy pregnancy!  Two days after that, 14dpiui, the final beta was 1958, another fast doubling time.  The nurse was satisfied with that number and schedule my ultrasound for a couple weeks later.

During that two weeks, we talked about possibly having more than one.  We thought for sure there were two babies, and MAYBE we’d have three in there.  How crazy, since I was a nanny for triplets when I was younger?  My husband would tell everyone he talked to that we were pregnant, and also including that there could be more than one in there.  So he created a lot of buzz leading up to the day of the ultrasound.  In my heart, I felt that there was one baby in there.  We were hoping for two, so I knew there would be only one.

To be continued…

A Little Relief

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This weekend we took our 13 year old cousins (the set of triplets I used to nanny for) to Great Wolf Lodge. The first day we were there, I refused to take off my sundress and I was hurting! Just walking around and helping my son up and down the stairs to the slides was so tiring! On the second day I was still self conscious to walk around in my maternity tankini, but had no choice but to lose the dress! E kept dragging me further into the wave pool and I was getting soaked anyway, so I stripped it off and I’m so glad I did! It felt so good I be in the pool, with no heavy belly or back and belly pain. I could ALMOST forget I was hugely pregnant! Needless to say I ended up really enjoying myself, especially the quality time splashing around with E in the pool. I only wish I had one at home! Or a membership to one at least. I guess I’ll be blowing up a kiddie pool for me and E this summer! I’m sure he will have a blast, and Mommy will get some relief!