I am amazing.

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Sometimes I just need to tell myself that.  Tonight, as I finished out another long day of being a mom on my own (Brian was working late, don’t worry!!) I was coming upstairs and it just hit me.  I’m definitely stronger than I think and more capable.  I’m not the best or most perfect mom (far from it), but I’m doing a pretty good job, and it’s about time I believe that.  I just found a mantra repeating in my head as I went about my business this evening…

I am amazing because I did not completely lose my temper when the kids weren’t following directions.

I am amazing because I took the time to pet my outside kitties.

I am amazing because I remembered to start the dishwasher after loading it.

I am amazing because I gave my doggies a treat before saying goodnight to them.

I am amazing because I took the garbage out.

I am amazing because I did my exercises before I got ready for bed.

I am amazing because I am writing this blog post. :)

It’s the little things for me.  I am taking little steps to get through my days, and learning to celebrate accomplishing all the little tasks that add up to the big ones.

One more:  I am awesome because I am going in to comfort my crying boys instead of yell at them.

So take the time to think about it…why are you amazing?

 

Can you believe they are 2 1/2 years old???

Ok so OBVIOUSLY I’m stellar on keeping up with New Year’s Resolutions.  I promised more regular posting, and have literally posted NOTHING.  Well, hopefully you will appreciate this then.  Always keep ’em wanting more, right??

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So last month I took the quads to their 2 1/2 year doctor’s appointment.  Big brother Easton wanted to come too, so off we went.  This was a milestone – I took them all by myself!  We were in the midst (well, hopefully the tail end) of a stomach bug here in the Fee house, and Brian was down for the count, so it was all me.  Luckily, they all were really good listeners and held hands to walk from the van to the door to the doctor’s office.  Yay for progress!  Our pediatrician and the nurse expressed how impressed they were with how well-behaved the kids were.  Woohoo!!  They said they see a lot of bad behavior there so I’m patting myself on the back for doing something right!  The kids amused themselves with books, puzzle and snacks, and were really good there.  Thank goodness!

So here we go with what each of my lovebugs have been up to:

My girls are long and lean, with Emerson being the tallest of the bunch.  She is in the 90th percentile for height.  Emerson thankfully is off the seizure medication since September, and has had no issues!  Plus an added bonus was her behavior got so much better once we tapered off the med.  While on it, she cried a lot and was so high maintenance.  Once she was off, she became so much more happy, humorous and pleasant.  She was also more coordinated, although still a bit clumsy like her mom.  Emerson loves cudding and sitting with her favorite adults, and still enjoys reading books.  She makes funny faces and loves singing songs.  Emerson has a blanky attached to her most of the time, and is a thumb-sucker still.  Em is so smart and picks up on things so quickly.  It only takes one time of explaining something to her for her to remember it, and apply it appropriately later on.  She surprises me on a daily basis with her smarts!

Hayden is our sweetie pie.  She is a good sleeper, great eater and most of the time is pretty easy.  She has gotten a bit spoiled by getting her way a lot (don’t look at me!!!) so at times she can be pretty demanding and challenging if she doesn’t get her way, but overall she’s great.  She will go off in the playroom and amuse herself for a while, with or without her siblings.  Hayden is definitely Easton’s favorite because she can take his rough play!!  Hayden’s favorite, though, is pretty much any man, even strangers!  It seems like every where we go she finds a man to follow around and babble to, and will stay in his arms forever, just telling him where she wants him to take her.  A true princess! Brian’s a bit worried, but hopefully we can teach her about strangers when she’s a bit older😉 Hayden loves to dance, and will tap her foot or bust a move to any beat, but especially loves 80s beats!  Hayden gives great hugs and is a big girl sleeping in a big girl bed now:)

Deacon is our shortest munchkin but he is solid!  And I remember I used to say that he didn’t have an evil bone in his body.  He was always the victim.  Well, not anymore!!!  He has quickly become my biggest pain!  He will purposely defy us with a smile on his face.  As cute as he is, when he tells me “no” with that smirk, it drives me crazy!!!  I wanted him to stand up for himself, but he went off the deep end lol.  When he’s not pushing buttons, though, he is an absolutely adorable, precious little boy.  He has amazing hair, still, that women would kill for, and lashes to match.  He’s got this button nose and sweet little mouth…we keep saying we are going to send out his pictures to be a model.  When he’s tired (like when Brody wakes him up) he is  the best cuddler and loves his grandmas.  Deacon has been the slowest to develop language, but is making steady progress.  Deacon has a great giggle and is fearless in the water when we take them swimming at the Y.  He’s definitely a wanderer, so we have to watch when he is outside!  He loves fixing things with Pappy and will follow him around all day “helping”.

Brody is the heaviest, though not quite the tallest.  He’s built like a football player, but has the arm of a baseball pitcher!  Brody is a clown, always laughing and being silly.  Though he does have his moments, he is generally a happy, sweet boy who loves to cuddle.  I won’t complain about that!!  The kid is like Houdini, though, and has broken through every child proof fence, gate and blockade we’ve installed!  It only takes a matter of time for him to figure something out, so we always have to have a backup ready.  It’s amazing!  He loves playing with his big brother Easton, and will do anything Easton does.  Brody has great language, and has so many facial expressions.  His smile truly lights up his whole face and his belly laugh is impossible not to laugh at!  His newest catch phrase is “I doin nuffin'”whenever you ask him what he’s doing or if you check in on him.  That usually means he is doing something wrong!!  But he can be very helpful also, gathering everyone’s shoes and jackets when it’s time to go somewhere.

Big Bro Easton is thankfully out of the “threenager” stage.  Not that we still don’t have our moments, but overall he’s become such a sweet, caring, loving, smart funny boy.  He is engaging with his siblings more and more, and telling them he loves them, which is so sweet to see.  Easton goes to school three mornings per week, and is learning to write.  He loves going (most of the time) and has made some good friends there.  Easton is super tall and thin…way off the charts for height and dropping in percentile for weight.  Go figure, right?  His current favorite thing (obsession, really) is Star Wars.  He builds TIE fighters, pretends there’s Imperial Walkers outside and plays Star Wars with Daddy.  We’re definitely a Star Wars family.

So, lately, we’ve either been super busy or super sick.  We’ve had a few stomach bugs and a couple colds, and as you can probably guess, things just get passed around and around the house.  It’s hard to fight!!  When we aren’t quarantined, we like to get the kids outside, to the Y (so Mommy and Daddy can exercise!) and our most favorite places, Walmart and Costco usually once a week.  We’re excited for the warmer weather to come, to be able to get outside and burn some energy off.

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Also big news is that the quads started school!!!  Right now they go Monday-Thursday from 12:05-2:15pm.  There goes naptime, but it’s been great for them.  Hopefully we will adjust to the lack of nap, and the night waking/terrors and daytime crankiness with go away!  But by then, we will switch to the morning session, so then naptime will hopefully come right back.  They all seem to have a lot of fun at school and are learning so many things!!  Aside from a few tears, they all are adjusting well to this milestone.  I’m so proud of them!  And happy for some one-on-one time with Easton.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this update…hopefully you’ll hear from us again soon😉

Summer Fun

The past few months have been crazy, fun and exhausting.  We all get cabin fever, but getting out takes such effort, that it’s not something I want to do every day!  We joined our local YMCA so that helps for Mommy and Daddy to get some exercise while the kids hang out in the Kidz Korner.  They also have a great kids wading pool that they love!  But most of our time is spent at home.  This is just going to be a heavy picture post, giving a little peek into our everyday life, and it’s ups and downs!

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Emerson and Brody, in a rare moment of playing together happily

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Emerson snuggling with Mommy after some pool time

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The kids trying their best to put me over the edge!

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Emerson can be so sweet

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Brody the Music Man

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Easton had a blast at Monster Jam

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Easton and Daddy with his favorite monster truck

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Deacon loves the water

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Easton doesn’t want to pose for me

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What’s that face Brody?

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Em

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Silly Hayden

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We love our little pool!

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Deacon knows how to relax

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Watching for the Peapod truck with Pappy

I hope you are all having a great summer so far… I’m sure ours will be flying by, and before we know it we will be celebrating their birthdays!

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there!  I hope you all have a wonderful day and feel how appreciated you are.  Mothers come in all forms, like a biological mother, an adopted mother, a mother-in-law, someone who is like a mother, though not blood related.  Lately, (when I haven’t been wiping butts or puking in a toilet – updates later), I’ve been reflecting on the maternal figures I have in my life, and what they have all taught me about being a mom.

First and foremost, I think of my mom, who is amazing in so many ways.  She has taught me how to be strong in the face of the challenges that life throws at us.  She has always been a rock when facing family health issues, and kept our family strong. It took me a while to appreciate just how wonderful and generous she is (I dread having teenage daughters, especially if they are anything like me), but better late than never I think.  I’m so thankful that she comes each week to spend the day with us, and that my kids are growing up knowing her and loving her!

I also think of my wonderful mother-in-law, who I am lucky to have!  I really hit the lottery in the in-law department.  She also has taught me to be strong and loving and that family is everything. I am so thankful we have a good relationship and that she gets to spend so much time with my kids!  I’m appreciative of everything she does for us.

I could never forget a mother I was so fortunate to have been introduced to, the mother of triplets that she was kind enough to let me take care of.  She was probably the first mom that I said, “I want to be just like her.”  Besides taking me in as part of the family (which enabled me to meet my husband), she taught me to not care what other people think, and to speak up for what you believe in, and for what’s best for your family.

I also think of the mother whom I’ve grown to love as a mother figure and a grandmother to my children, who is the sweetest, kindest person I have ever met.  She makes me appreciate my children even more, especially on the tough days.  She helps take care of my family, and is so generous with her time. We are lucky to have her in our lives!  She has taught me about unconditional love, and never giving up on your family members, even when the relationship is strained.

Also in my thoughts is the mother of my oldest best friend, who has always taken care of me, my dogs and now my kids.  I swear she has a sixth sense for when I’m having a tough day and need Starbuck’s.  She has taught me about generosity, and about being unashamed to be yourself.

Outside of these, I also take lessons from other moms like sisters, aunts, grandmothers, friends, coworkers, online mom friends, my mom’s group and other moms I’ve come across in my life.  I’ve been influenced by so many great women, and have been fortunate to have had my path cross theirs, even briefly.

All of these maternal figures have shaped me into the mother that I am, so to those that tell me what  good mom I am, it’s because of these wonderful examples around me!  Thank you to all of the moms in my life.  I hope you all know how much I have appreciated having you in my life.

One Down, Three To Go!

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Emerson has made a full recovery! I think the rotavirus is out of her system, thank goodness! Not that I will stop worrying about her having more seizures, though. I worry when I’m home alone with all the kids. I worry when she’s sleeping. I freak when she starts crying and when she has a coughing fit. I’m so scared, and I know that will lessen in time, but for right now I can’t stop picturing her purple, limp body lying there. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my beautiful, funny, amazingly smart little girl.

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But I didn’t. And I’m so lucky! I will be thankful for her and all my babies every day.
The others seem to be on the mend. Poor Deacon seems to be the saddest sack. He sleeps a lot, and when he’s awake he’s usually just lounging on someone’s lap. He’s eating and drinking though, which is great.

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Brody is better, and has been acting more and more like his old self – getting into things he shouldn’t be! But he still is fighting the bug, and it kicks his butt sometimes!

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Hayden just wants to cuddle with Pappy all day. She’s just so sweet and pitiful when she’s sick. But like Brody, she’s acting more alive each day.

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Poor Easton is a bit attention-starved, and really needs to get out and burn some energy! Surprisingly, he hasn’t caught the virus, thank goodness. But cranky Easton who needs a nap is worse than three sick kids combined! He really tested the limits of my patience today, but then he poses ave wants me to take his picture, and he makes me laugh.

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So we’re surviving here. Trying to clean, disinfect, sanitize, cuddle, feed, wash, change, hold, carry and dispose, all the while trying to take care of myself. I just finished my antibiotic for bronchitis but I’m not sure if the infection is done with me! Hopefully in the next couple days we can beat these germs out of our house and have a nice Easter, although since we are quarantined, we can’t have our guests!
I can’t wait to get back to normal, whatever that is!

Out of the Pot and into the Fire

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Emerson and I got to come home yesterday!  I can’t tell you how amazing it was to sleep in my own bed last night and to take a shower!!!
Em is doing great. The VEEG overnight was great, and she ate breakfast in the morning so they felt she could go home. The neurologist recommended keeping her on the Keppra for six months, so she takes a small liquid dose twice a day. It’s just a precaution really, because having had three seizures, she’s more likely to have more, and it’s more likely to be worse.  She well have an MRI as an outpatient just to make sure there is nothing else going on, and we will follow up with the neurologist. We also have a couple emergency doses of diazepam that we would administer if she had another seizure that lasts at least three minutes.
At home she’s the healthiest one we got!  She is eating pretty well, and it’s relatively active, although she’s even more of a drunken sailor now! A side effect of the Keppra is loss of balance and coordination, which she didn’t have a lot of anyway! And {knock on wood} her diarrhea seems to be gone today!

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The others are a bit miserable. They just lay around and they don’t want to play. They weren’t eating or drinking until we got a prescription for Zofran, an anti-nausea medicine. After they took that they started eating and drinking water, which was a huge relief.

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I love the cuddling, but I’d rather they were feeling better! Rotavirus is AWFUL!

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They still have diarrhea, and Brody is still throwing up, so there’s lots of cleanup and laundry to do! I’m contemplating calling in a biohazard team to clean up after this bug is passed. I’m also shopping for new couches – easy to clean leather ones! 

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Easton continues to be unaffected by this virus…Thank goodness!!!
Continued thanks for all the support…it really means so much to us to have offers of help, concern for us and resources for info from people who have also dealt with seizures. It’s all amazing and touching and we’re grateful!