I didn’t want to watch. I’ve had 3 episodes on my DVR since November: Number One, Number Two and Number Three. I went from a person who couldn’t wait to have a night alone to watch and cry along with the Pearson’s, to a person who was scared to watch because I was afraid I’d cry too much. I saw in the previews that Kate was going to suffer a miscarriage. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t watch someone else go through that. I’ve been there. And this show just has a way of portraying emotions in such a real, raw, honest way, that it’s impossible not to feel all the feels along with the characters.
Yet, here I am. 10:50am, sitting on my bed trying to make a Christmas music playlist, fighting back tears. I fully prepared for the event. I have a venti caffe latte by my side. That was my defense against the feelings. I thought I could watch the show without becoming upset. I thought that a latte and Christmas music would negate the sensitive subject matter. Wrong! This show breaks down any defenses!
However, I have to leave to pick up my kids from school soon, and I find myself anxious to get to them and hug all of them. I find myself sad for loss, but thankful for what I was given. I can’t wait to see those smiling faces and listen to them tell me about their school day. And hug them super tightly.
So thanks, This is Us, for making me feel all the feels.